Welcome to the first of what will likely become a series: Movies with My Dad.
The idea for this came from the fact that my father and I both have an AMC Stubs pass (not sponsored, but could be, if AMC wants to shell out some cash). Going to the movies together has become our bonding activity, now that I’ve moved to the same city as him.
I’ll say up front, the man is not picky. He will watch (almost) anything. He does draw the line at most Hallmark-esque movies… except for the one where Rob Lowe is a pilot at an elephant sanctuary and falls in love with Charlotte from Sex and the City. That one he loves.
When we go to the movies, he’s usually at the mercy of what I choose because the AMC app “has too many steps” for him to book a movie on his own. There are times, however, that I will accompany him to a Dad Flick™.
Without further ado, here are our thoughts on Plane. (Please do not read on if you don't want spoilers!)
Tina: Okay, so tell me what you thought.
My Dad: Solid seven. Solid nine for this genre.
Care to elaborate?
I was impressed with the really good airplane consultant they had. Very organized, consistent, didn’t you think so?
Yeah, they flipped the switches in a really convincing order. I believed it.
The phone, too, in that abandoned building. I was gonna say there’s no way in hell that would work, but then I realized the phone electrical system is actually different than the building electrical system. So technically, it’s a possibility that it actually might work. I was kinda impressed.
Me too. For sure.
And then Dele (the copilot)? I thought when he was working his way through the controls to get the electronics back up, I’m like, okay. Somebody who actually gave a shit worked that through. It wasn’t just a throwaway prop, the airplane. They treated it like it was a real system.
Well, how could it be? It’s the titular role.
[not a single chuckle] Yeah, but they actually treated it like it was a real plane. They didn’t make it do things that it couldn’t do. Cause like, a lot of times…what’s the one with Harrison Ford? Y’know, like get off my plane! When he’s the president?
We’re driving home by this point. I tried valiantly to write down his quotes word for word, but have switched over to recording him with the Voice Memo app on my phone. Unfortunately for the rest of the world, he is adamant that this audio will never see the light of day.
You don’t remember that one? Where he’s the president and it’s Air Force One, some terrorists get onboard, and they take over the plane?
I have never felt more foolish than just now when I Googled “harrison ford air force one movie” only to discover the movie he’s talking about is called Air Force One. That’s on me.
You have no memory of that movie?
Well, they treat that plane like it’s as real as a Star Wars plane…Plane, though. I still don’t understand why one gunshot didn’t go through their fuel tank, but I can’t say if that’s reasonable or not.
What if they just had bad aim?
They really had bad aim…I thought the stewardesses did a great job.
Stewardess is not what they’re called anymore.
They’re not, right, I guess they’re flight attendants. I thought they did a great job.
They didn’t do anything! Bonnie did nothing!
No, how they handled the airplane going down. There’s somebody in there who either spent time as a flight attendant or an airplane person.
Yeah, just randomly riding on planes all day long in the name of research.
I don’t know, what else?
Whatever you want to say. You rated it a nine.
For this genre. Actually, a five as a general movie. For me, personally, to kill time, great. A good nine in the Stallone genre. I did feel like they could’ve used some of the other passengers other than just…
Well, only the two guys were complaining. I feel like they missed out on doing a little something with them. Not a lot because it was always going to be Gerard Butler and, what’s the other guy’s name?
Gerard Butler and Mike Coulter’s movie.
I’d watch Gerard and Mike in a comedy.
At this point on the car ride home, he keeps saying he’s got no more thoughts and that I’m not “properly conducting this interview.” Just as I’m ready to switch off the recorder, he comes back with some thoughts about the film’s star. No, not the plane.
I think they gave too much to Gerard, but he is the star. Little too easy to give it to the old, grizzled white guy. Would’ve been nice if one of the women did something more.
I’m fairly certain that he does not have a clue what the lead flight attendant’s name was. I could have called her any name I wanted and he would’ve agreed. In his defense, she really did not have a lot to do.
Would’ve been nice if anyone gave urgent medical care to him at the end.
I know! I guess they realized they didn’t want to have him fly to Hawaii and reunite with his daughter, so they needed a way for the movie to end. So having him sit there and bleed out on the steps was it.
He got shot twice!
What did you not like about it? Were you not entertained?
I will admit, I got tense.
That’s what it’s for!
It was fine.
The premise was reasonable.
I simply love that he walked away from this insane movie called Plane, essentially shrugged, and said, “looks good to me.” There are a million reasons why Plane is not reasonable, but the fact that there were only fourteen people onboard was the most egregious aspect to me. When have you been on a plane in the last five or more years that wasn’t entirely full? In this economy? It’s just not realistic.
I guess. I hope they make a sequel called Boat.
A whole genre of single-word transportation? Train. Boat.
Gerard Butler’s like, I’ve had it as a pilot, I’m gonna become a boat captain. I’d watch it. Or Mike Coulter finally escapes and buys a boat with his $500,000.
I will admit, they did seem like real people, as opposed to a Stallone cartoon person. In that sense, I thought they did that well. You never said why you didn’t like it.
There’s just nothing there.
Well, no, it’s not cinema. It had all the hallmarks of that genre of movie and for that genre, I think it was really good.
You did give it a nine.
Right. And for me, it was a good seven in entertainment value, but as a quality movie, it’s a four. Maybe a five.
You keep changing it.
Yeah, it’s a four or a five. Y’know, in the pantheon of movies, it’s low, but that genre, I think it’s high.
I can’t believe this didn’t come out on Father’s Day. They don’t make ‘em as fatherly as this all the time.
Plane ends exactly how you think it should. The rugged dad saves the day and the camera zooms out to give credit to the real star of the show: the plane.
Dad: 4, 5, or 9